Roller Skates
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and
says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you
desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family
on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say
no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later,
6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven.
God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the
cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased
by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have
a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God
says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with
a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat
is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently
wakes him and asks,
'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier
in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over
are the best!'
How Many Chickens?
Two guys meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying
a big bag labeled, "chickens."
"Chickens, eh?" says one of the guys. "Hey, if
I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"
"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "if you guess
right, I'll give you both of 'em."
The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"
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